Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
