We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
