Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
She's the barista slut.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Randomize
