Cold hands, warm shart.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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