Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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