I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
the raccoons are back...
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
