Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
