so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
