I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize