why didn't you poke me back
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize