im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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