yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
