brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
