We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
