how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
