best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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