before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
