im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
home. puking in laundry basket.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
