Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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