Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
