She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
