If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
