the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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