Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
