i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
