Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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