Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
