I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
farters have to be the big spoon...
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
