i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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