I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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