you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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