Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
