if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
