i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
