New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
