beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
