I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
