Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
