so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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