Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Randomize