he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
