So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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