I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Panties = found
Randomize
