Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
