I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Randomize
