Just fell off a train. Bad.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
