Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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