He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
