i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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