people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I think your dad took our porno
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
