i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
