Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
