It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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