Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
