During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
