i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
