so let's talk penis.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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