last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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