So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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