What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
