i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
