I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
