I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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