Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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