So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
