Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
